Nothing is as it should be
by Dru-girl
Summary: Happens during Clockwork Prince after the explosion that will kill Nate. Drama, Love, Pain and Confessions. -. I feel something sharp slash across my abdomen. I look down; Nate had taken a metal shard from the ground and stabbed me across the abdomen. I look back up at Nate's eyes. "Now you'll be safe Tessie…" his last breath leaves his body his eyes roll to the back of his head
1. Chapter 1

"Tessie… you don't know what I've done." Nate sobs. Tears and blood shine off his face as his last few minutes fall away. The wounds he sustained during the explosion were too severe; I'm surprised he has lasted this long.

"Shh… Nate?" Theres blood on my face too from small cuts I sustained but nothing to severe.

"Tessie you can… you can never forgive me for all the horrible things I've done to you." More tears flow freely from his eyes, his gaze held firmly on mine.

"Shh Nate please hush now. I forgive you… for everything."

"NO! No you can't especially after…" his eyes begin to flutter close.

"Nate!?" his eyes fly open and his hand closes around something. I feel something sharp slash across my abdomen. I look down; Nate had taken a metal shard from the ground and stabbed me across the abdomen. I look back up at Nate's eyes.

"Now you'll be safe Tessie…" his last breath leaves his body and his eyes roll to the back of his head. He's gone… the last member of my family is gone, and now I'm alone.

"Nate…" the pain is blinding and the room starts to spin. I fall back and land on tiny pieces of metal from the explosion. Pain shoots through my back but it is minimal to the burning on my abdomen. I can hear voices far away; Charlotte, Henry, and Jem. I turn my head to the side I see Will on the floor he looks really pale. His back is hurt; it's bleeding but not too badly. The room is getting dimmer; I struggle to focus. I feel my blood pooling around me… I see Will look around the room when his eyes fall on me. His eyes widen when he sees the pool of blood I'm laying in; my arm that was laying limply across my stomach falls to the ground stained with blood. Will shouts something to me; but I can't hear any of it. My eyes start to flutter shut but I see Charlotte and Jem turn around. Their eyes widen and they run toward me; Jem looked extremely pale as he reached my side. He falls to his knees and tenderly touches the cut on my stomach. I can't keep my eyes open any longer; my eyes flutter shut. I can faintly hear Jem shouting my name. My breathing is shallow; my heartbeat slows. All I can think is _I'm alone… no one is left… no one._ I couldn't fight it anymore... blackness finally consumed me.


	2. Chapter 2

"Tessie… you don't know what I've done." Nate sobs. Tears and blood shine off his face as his last few minutes fall away. The wounds he sustained during the explosion were too severe; I'm surprised he has lasted this long.

"Shh… Nate?" Theres blood on my face too from small cuts I sustained but nothing to severe.

"Tessie you can… you can never forgive me for all the horrible things I've done to you." More tears flow freely from his eyes, his gaze held firmly on mine.

"Shh Nate please hush now. I forgive you… for everything."

"NO! No you can't especially after…" his eyes begin to flutter close.

"Nate!?" his eyes fly open and his hand closes around something. I feel something sharp slash across my abdomen. I look down; Nate had taken a metal shard from the ground and stabbed me across the abdomen. I look back up at Nate's eyes.

"Now you'll be safe Tessie…" his last breath leaves his body and his eyes roll to the back of his head. He's gone… the last member of my family is gone, and now I'm alone.

"Nate…" the pain is blinding and the room starts to spin. I fall back and land on tiny pieces of metal from the explosion. Pain shoots through my back but it is minimal to the burning on my abdomen. I can hear voices far away; Charlotte, Henry, and Jem. I turn my head to the side I see Will on the floor he looks really pale. His back is hurt; it's bleeding but not too badly. The room is getting dimmer; I struggle to focus. I feel my blood pooling around me… I see Will look around the room when his eyes fall on me. His eyes widen when he sees the pool of blood I'm laying in; my arm that was laying limply across my stomach falls to the ground stained with blood. Will shouts something to me; but I can't hear any of it. My eyes start to flutter shut but I see Charlotte and Jem turn around. Their eyes widen and they run toward me; Jem looked extremely pale as he reached my side. He falls to his knees and tenderly touches the cut on my stomach. I can't keep my eyes open any longer; my eyes flutter shut. I can faintly hear Jem shouting my name. My breathing is shallow; my heartbeat slows. All I can think is _I'm alone… no one is left… no one._ I couldn't fight it anymore... blackness finally consumed me.

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Chapter 2

I gained consciousness when I was being carried into the infirmary. We entered the double doors where Brother Enoch was waiting; Henry set me down onto one of the beds.

_"Lay down on your stomach we must take the metal pieces out of your back before they get further embedded." _ says Brother Enoch with little emotion.

" But… but my stomach…" I stutter trying to tell him about the slash across my abdomen.

_"NOW! I will not waste my time on you shape-changer now lay on your back." _I lay down carefully. I feel the silent brother cut the back of my shirt open to expose the cuts all over my back; the air touches the cuts and I wince because it burns a little bit. Charlotte enters the infirmary and says

"Jem and Will will the around shortly Cryil went to get them." Charlotte walks over to my side andgrabs hold of my hand she kept staring at my back with a worried look on her face. Brother Enoch came over to my other side with tweezers in his hand; he lowered them to my back were one piece was lodged deep into my skin. He yanked the metal shard out of my back; a blood curdling scream escaped my throat.

"BROTHER ENOCH! Gentle please she doesn't have the numbing runes we have!" Charlotte cried out gripping my hand harder as if to apologize for the excruciating pain this is causing me.

_"Would you rather her go through slow agony as I carefully take these pieces out of her back or get it over with as soon as possible?" _Brother Enoch asked in an annoyed voice.

"Please just be a little more gentle please." Charlotte begged. Brother Enoch did not respond he just dug into my back once again; I stiffened knowing what is about to come next. Shearing pain again but I bite my lip to keep myself from crying out; tears run down my cheeks. A shriek escapes my lips as another piece is ripped out from my skin more tears run down my already wet cheeks. One by one the pieces are extracted from my back and put in a bowl Charlotte is holding, there has to be atleast 20 pieces in the bowl but there are still more embedded in my skin. I close my eyes and focus on anything but the pain; all I can think is that this is going to be a long night.

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Chapter 3

Will's POV

Tessa was she ok, she had passed out but there had been so much blood around her. Jem and I had to get back to the institute to see her. As soon as Cryil arrived to the warehouse with the carriage we jumped in as yelled to Cryil to hurry. I look over at Jem he is really jumpy and jittery he must really be worried about her. He was really worried about her… but why? He couldn't love her, Will did, not that he had ever been able to tell her that. None the less Will still loved her with all his heart but was afraid to tell her afraid of the curse that was bestowed on him by a demon when he was young. He was working with Magnus to summon the demon who put this curse on me to make him undo this terrible fate. Will was brought out of his internal babble by Jem calling my name.

"Will… Will!"

"What?" I ask confused

"Did you hear what I asked?" Jem ask annoyed

"Ummmm… of course what would make you think…?" Jem gave me that look that said stop faking I know you're lying.

"Okay okay I didn't hear a word you said. I was worrying about Tessa" I confess looking down.

"I'm worried about her too…" Jem said looking down at his feet. That's when I noticed the spots of red on the ground, blood, Tessa's blood.

"Jem…" I started to say but was cut off but was cut off by his own question.

"Is that Tessa's blood?" I looked into his eyes they shone with tears.

"I… I… yes that's Tessa's blood." When the words came out of my mouth they were just above a whisper. I then looked at the seats and saw there was a bunch more from where Henry had her lay. I was about to tell Jem when the carriage jerked to a stop. I looked out the window when I realized we were back at the institute, Jem seemed to realize this too because he threw the door open and ran inside. I was right on his heals, my back hurt from my injuries but the numbing rune had the pain to a dull annoyance.

We reached the hall that lead to the infirmary's double doors. They were shut firmly; Jem and I were almost half way there when an ear piercing scream echoed down the hall. Jem and I stopped dead in our tracks I looked over at Jem he had turned 8 shades paler than he already was. Another scream echoed down the hall this jolted Jem awake he took off sprinting down the rest of the hall running to the double doors. I started to run after him when he reached the doors he threw them open as another one of Tessa's screams erupted.

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Chapter 4

Will's POV

Jem and I burst into the room to find Tessa laying on her stomach, the back of her shirt cut down the middle exposing her back completely. Cuts covered her back I avert my eyes because first of all it's improper to see this much of a woman unless you are married and second of all I couldn't stand to see her in such pain. I look over at Jem who has also adverted his eyes away, his face was still pale but there was a hint of a red blush creeping onto his cheeks. I could see in his eyes that he… no he couldn't… the look in his eyes was love… love for Tessa. Not a sisterly love but a soul mate kind of love… he loves Tessa.

Jem must have noticed me staring at him and looked back at Tessa. Charlotte sat at Tessa's side holding her hand and a bowl full of metal pieces that had been yanked out of Tessa's back…and there had to be at least ten more pieces left in her back. Brother Enoch went for another piece. This one was deeply embedded into Tessa's back, Tessa stiffened. The silent brother yanked the tweezers out of her back, she screamed out in pain. Tears rolled down her already wet cheeks. One by one the metal pieces were taken out of her back and every time she cried out in pain I flinched. I know I wasn't the only one Jem did the same thing as me. Once the last piece was out Tessa relaxed a bit, and then even more so as Brother Enoch healed her back. I heard Tessa sigh in relief as some of her pain subsided. Tessa rolled over onto her back. I saw a blood stain on her shirt, I had almost forgotten her brother Nate had slashed her stomach on his death bed. Brother Enoch rolled her shirt up a little bit to get a better look at the injury. She turned bright red and so did Jem and I. Brother Enoch pronounced

_"I cannot heal that… one of your kind will have to deal with something that severe."_

"WHAT!?" Tessa winced as she spoke "You… you said there weren't any of my kind! You said that I was one of a kind! There is NOT another person like me!"

_"Call the warlock Magnus Bane he is close enough to what you are. William now I must remove the metal from your back. If you'll come with me please. It shouldn't hurt as much because you have runes to prevent and block pain. " _

"I will call Magnus… Brother Enoch you may tend to Will's injuries in another room please. The room back through there would perhaps be best." Charlotte stated before she left the room.

_"Yes Mrs. Branwell. Move young Shadowhunter." _

"Are you always this pushy?" I ask sarcastically

_"I am helping you shadowhunter don't push me or this unpleasant experience will become even more unpleasant"_

"Will just go, and don't anger the person who will be digging into your back with a sharp object," Jem rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh fine, if I must go I will…" I looked back at Jem who had started walking towards Tessa. I saw her eyes full of pain and sadness but they lightened a little bit when Jem walked over to her side. A whole new kind of pain shot through me. My heart cracked in half.

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**Hey sorry about the late update but things have been soooooo crazy lately! Sooo without further ado I give you the next chapter… hope you like it!... Review the story please because I don't know if I should keep writing this story or not… ok seriously heres the next chapters**

**Disclaimer: I don't own clockwork prince**

Chapter 5

Tessa's POV

"How are you feeling?" Jem asked as he approached the bed I sat on. I looked down to my hands on my lap. I wanted to be brave and show Jem I wasn't a weak person but I couldn't down play the pain I felt tears fell from my eyes.

"I hurt all over Jem…" I said not being able to meet his eyes. I heard him step closer to the bed, I felt the bed dip down as he sat next to me.

"I'm sorry Tessa… I didn't think you got hurt in the warehouse. I felt helpless when I turned around and saw you laying there barely conscious from all the blood loss. I'm surprised you are sitting up like this now after all that's happened today."

"It's really no big deal that you didn't know I got hurt… you were worried about Will; he's your brother I understand why you would have worried about him first."

"But I worry about you more… I mean… oh this isn't going as smoothly as I wanted it to…" Jem turned pink from his blush he looked me in the eyes "I really care about you Tessa and I know we haven't known each other long but…. I love you… there I said it I love you Tessa." I sucked in air as a gasp which sent pain through me. I doubled over clutching my stomach trying to catch my breath. Jem scooted closer to me to help me sit up again, he suddenly realizing that the shirt I wore only covered my front and that my back was bare. He removed his hand from my back immediately blushing.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this… I must look awful…"

"Beautiful…" was all Jem said

"What?" I asked confused

"Beautiful is what you are… even now… always so beautiful and strong. It's one of the things I love about you."

"Jem…"

"No it's ok I know you probably don't return my feelings I took a chance telling you my feelings and I knew you probably wouldn't feel the same I'm just glad I told you instead of keeping to myself."

"Jem…"

"No Tessa it's ok don't fool yourself. I don't expect you to say…"

"JEM! Shut up!" I laugh a little. He looks at me worried like he is afraid of what I'll say. "I love you too Jem. If you would have let me talk I would have told you right after you said you loved me."

"You…you do?" he asked shocked and confused.

"Yes I do."

"You do? Are you sure?"

"What do you want me to change my mind?" I ask sarcastically

"No! No I just didn't think you felt the same for me!"

"Well what did you think I thought of you as?"

"A friend and nothing more… I was ready to accept that and now I'm overjoyed."

" And I know we haven't known each other long but I do now my feelings for you are tru.." I didn't get to finish my sentence because Jem had moved toward me and fit his lips over mine. He kissed me with such gentleness. Nothing like the few kisses Will and I had shared; fire sprang through my veins and my heart fluttered. I leaned forward deepening the kiss. One of my arms reached around his neck bringing him closer and the other hand cupped his cheek. His hands where feverish in my hair; he pulled back.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that…" he said blushing deeply.

"It's ok" I said smiling "Magnus will be here soon…"

"I know and I should probably go find Will because he'll need me…"

"It's ok go ahead and find Will I'll be fine…"

"Ok… I'll see you later." he leaned in and kissed me on the lips once more before getting up and leaving.

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**Ok here's the next chapter hope you all like it!**

**Disclaimer I don't own clockwork prince.**

Chapter 6

Magnus walked into the infirmary with Charlotte.

"Miss Gray its pleasure seeing you again." Magnus smiled and his cat eyes twinkled in the lighting.

"Like wise Mr. Bane" I say watching him as he continued on towards the bed I sat on. Magnus came next to my side and gave me a look that asked if he could take a look at the injury on my abdomen. I nodded saying it was ok; he moved my shirt to the side exposing the cut to the air. I gasp as pain shot through my body. Charlotte gasped as well looking at the cut inflicted upon me. I look down to see what she was so shocked about; air escaped my lips in a gasp as I saw the cut spreading into winding patterns down my stomach to my legs and feet; up to my neck and down my arms. I panic not having any idea what's going on with me. It feels like fire is spreading through my body, I start to shake and tremble. I cry out in fear and pain as I begin to change into thousands of people at the same time one face to the next in a matter of milliseconds, I have never changed to fast before it hurt to be perfectly honest, it felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside. Suddenly the identities stopped as if having finally found the face it was searching for, Nate's face. I spoke in Nate's voice.

"She will never be safe! Never be able to escape! Death is the only get away… I tired to take her with me but you had to save her. You thought you were helping her… but really you've doomed her! I hope you can't sleep at night knowing that you have sent her for a worse fate than death! You'll be sorry! You'll all be sorry! No one can save her now… everyone is going to pay for what you've done…" Nate's message faded away. The change dropped and I fell back against the pillow.

Will's POV

Getting the metal pieces torn out on my flesh hurt like HELL; to be honest I don't know how Tessa could have done that without the runes we have. I had three Iratezes helping me heal. I got off the infirmary bed and Jem stood by the door really anxious to get out of here to go somewhere else my guess was to where ever Tessa was because he loved her oh so much. Psh he didn't love her he couldn't love her. We walk out of the infirmary and start to head down the hall when we hear Charlotte yell something. It came from Tessa's infirmary room. We change directions and walk back to her infirmary room; we hear Charlotte yelling and Magnus Bane is yelling too but it's Tessa's cry that makes me throw open the doors. Jem and I walk into the room; Charlotte turns toward us fear in her eyes we walk over to see Tessa changing from a million people in a matter of milliseconds it looked like it hurt her based on her rigged posture. The change stopped on her brother's face. She started to speak but it was his voice.

"She will never be safe! Never be able to escape! Death is the only get away… I tired to take her with me but you had to save her. You thought you were helping her… but really you've doomed her! I hope you can't sleep at night knowing that you have sent her for a worse fate than death! You'll be sorry! You'll all be sorry! No one can save her now… everyone is going to pay for what you've done…" she stopped speaking and Nate's face dropped away and Tessa fell back onto the pillows her eyes wide open but blank of life. She wasn't moving at all; I panicked and so did Jem and Charlotte. Jem ran over to her side looking at all the cuts he took her pulse; he sighed in relief as he felt the flutter of her heart. I walk over to Jem and look at Tessa's eyes blank of emotion when I see a tear fall out of the corner of her eye. She turned pale white as more tears spilled down her cheeks I noticed that the cuts were slowly healing and disappearing only a few left a scars. Some color returned to her and she frantically blinked her eyes as if clearing away a horrid nightmare that happened before her eyes. Tessa sat up and got off the bed; but her legs were weak so she crumpled to the ground. I was about to go to her when Jem darts forward to help her up off the floor. I see in his eyes that he does really love her… and I look at her and by the way she looks at him I know she has feelings for him too… Anger fills me and my vision turns red; I turn on my heel and walk out of the infirmary slamming the door behind me. I run down the hall, out the front door into the cool night. I walk down the street till I see a bar I smirk to myself and think well atleast you can drink till you can't feel anymore drink until this emptiness and pain goes away. I walk into the bar and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.

**Ok that was kinda intense right! Ok soo anyway umm review if you want I would really appreicate it if you did. Let me know if i should keep writing this because I'm so sure if you all like it or not... soo ya review!**

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**Hey Ok soooo sorry i haven't been updating i have been a bit busy with school and dance and ya soooo here is a long chapter! review if you would like to i would really appreciate it! ****OK! I almost forgot to tell you Soo if you all like this story and you like the Mortal Instruments series I am now writing a all human story about Clary and her abusive father and how her life is completely changed because of it. Soooo thanks for reading and review if you'd like to… heres the final chapter of this story! **

Chapter 7

Tessa's POV

"Tessa what did you see?" Jem asked, I clung to him for dear life. If what I saw really will happen because of me everyone will be in complete peril, they're own personal Hell that they can never escape.

"I have to get out of here you'll all… I don't… I can't… I have to go." I try to get up but I'm still weak and crumple into Jem's waiting arms. "I have to go. I have to go! If you don't you'll get hurt!" I try to get back up but I feel Jem's arms tightening around me.

"But if you leave you'll be the one hurt!" Jem's voice was full of pain he didn't loosen his grip if anything he held on tighter as if I would disappear. "Tess you would be the one hurt if you left." He whispered it so only I would hear him. I faintly hear the door open and close, when I look up I see Will has gone and Charlotte and Magnus are walking toward the door. I look back down till I hear the door open and close again, when I know we are alone I look Jem in the eyes.

"Jem…" I say but he cuts me off

"No… Tess I will not let you leave… I would not be able to live with myself if I let you leave and I… I just won't put you in that kind of danger."

"But I don't want to put you in danger! I yelled at him. I stood up finding new strength "I love you and I refuse to put you in that kind of danger." I walk out of the infirmary toward my chambers and when I get there I change into something more appropriate. I hear a knock on the door but I don't answer it, I gather a few of my things.

"Tessa…" I hear his voice I feel tears stream down my face. I hear the door open and his soft footsteps heading in my direction. He puts his hand on my arm and I turn around to face him, but I close my eyes so I can't look into his because if I do I know I won't be able to go through with this. I feel him kiss my cheeks then my eye lids then my forehead. And finally a quick peck on the lips, I open my eyes after and I break down.

"I'm sorry Jem. I love you but I can't let them hurt you." I lean up and kiss him one last time with all the pain and love I have in me. I step away from him and grab my things and walk out of the room… tears falling down my face I run to the doors of the institute and walk out I look back one last time before I walk out forever. I get down the stairs and out the front gate when I'm grabbed from behind.

"Hello my dear…" I looked up and I see the Magister "I'm so glad we finally have an understanding." The look on his face was pure evil. I shiver and look away the last thing I see before everything goes black is his eyes his black endless eyes my last thought was _What have I done…_ and everything went black.


End file.
